Earthquake Clatter Nerves - 7.1 On Rector Scale!

A dilemma. Publicize the URL of this horrendous news site full of unbelievable writing and therefore giving it a boost in traffic (and hence, popularity and PR and success), or show you just one tiny example of the writing to enjoy, slack-jawed, as I did this morning.

Hmmmm.

Well, seeing as this blog has three readers on a good day, the URL shall be released. Promise not to tell the world, though. I don't want to promote their ineptness.

WARNING: I will not vouch for this site! It may be harmful to your computer. Proceed at your own risk - and possibly risk any hope you may have had for mankind for the remainder of your lifes (haha - little inside humor there).

So, for the brave - I give you: News we can do without!

Please, someone, tell me that the site isn't supposed to be real, that it's a parody, or satire, or something mocking the english language! I await your distinguished reply. Wishing you good fortune and best days ahead.

This sterling example of mistranslation was originally spotted on It's Your Damned Language! - another great grammar blog.

How Do You Spend Your Lifes?

Kristilyn was shopping in Big Lots today (who doesn't love Big Lots?!) and noticed this brilliant piece of artwork. She didn't say how much it was. Big Lots usually stocks products that might have been oversupplied, or items that don't sell in the original stores. Sometimes (if you like treasure hunts), you can find brilliant buys on anything from children's toys to air filters.

I wonder why this beautifully framed, thought provoking, beacon for our moral compass ended up there? Any ideas?

I hope she bought one for me!

Would You Buy This?

Time out.

We interrupt this blog to bring you the second most evil problem corrupting the world (bad grammar and lack of correct spelling being the first).

Stupid products for lazy people! This is getting out of hand. Case in point - first we had cookie dough in a tube. OK, that's understandable - not enough time to buy and mix up the ingredients (and it is oh so good straight from the tube). Then came the cookies almost formed, just break them up, place them on a cookie sheet, and bake. Because it's just too time consuming to slice the dough? Well, that's far too much work for me - please provide me with the cookies already on the cookie sheet so I can skip that step. And it was so. Wait! I don't even want to have to bake them! Oops - we've come full circle - they're in aisle 3.

In celebration of all things stupid and marketed to the masses who buy them, I bring you:

Seriously - cupcake icing? Since when did they require a specialized formula? Is there really a market for this? When I think of all those rebellious bakers who would dare to use cake icing on their cupcakes . . [shivvers] . . chills me to the bone.

And by the way, if they're making or icing cupcakes in that photo, why are their hands in a bowl? No step I can remember from cupcake baking involves hands in a bowl.

Nostalgic Carckers

This one is near and dear to my heart because it evokes special memories of vacations past (passed? - not sure on that one). We used to go on our vacation with friends, and before we'd leave, my friend and I would create a grocery list. Each year, we'd go over the list and adjust accordingly, as kids tastes changed and our own fondness for "Mom Chocolate" grew. So one year, we're going over the list, and discover that it had carckers as an item to purchase. (Need I explain that the planning sessions were usually accompanied by some wine and several fits of laughter.) Laughing over the small mistake, we left it as carckers and it stayed that way for years to come, evoking giggles each time we planned for the upcoming vacation.

Guess you had to be there. Anyway, we had fun with it, right Karen?

Thanks to Chris - who seems to be inundated with typos/errors wherever she roams!

Blinded By Anger

Maybe the saying, "Blinded by anger" has something to it. It seems like so many signs posted by irate people have spelling errors or bad grammar. So if you are ever inclined to vent your anger on a sign for all the world to see - do yourself a favor and have someone - anyone - check it over first. Otherwise you end up looking like the stupid one. And we wouldn't want that.

Welcome To The English Language

Walk-In. Interesting name for a store. I wonder what they sell there. Shoes? Must be shoes. What? Walk-in isn't the name of a store? Then what's this sign all about?

OK I'm going to stop now before I say something that might get me into trouble.

After Awarding The Million, Hire A Proofreader

Kristilyn was watching Millionaire the other day and caught this one. This is a show based on knowledge and brains. And they can't check their own work before airing it?