We Need A 12 Step Program

Hmmmm. Mr. Keith J. Pierce - I suppose it's a good thing you decided to become an auctioneer and not an editor or an English teacher. Would that be the silver lining to this?

Do we need a country-wide 12 step program for overuse of apostrophes? Could we lump in excessive quotation marks as well?

And when did the word website become two?

Your Does Not Equal You're!

There is plenty missing from so many websites these days. Proper grammar, correct spelling, etc. Oh sure, you have cutting edge eye catching killer graphics, and a (possibly) very coveted domain name. But if you hire someone with poor language skills (skillz?) to manage your website, it will usually show. And not in a good way.

You're = you are. The apostrophe stands for the missing letter (a, for those of you learning this for the first time and reading this with a puzzled expression).

Your = the possessive form of you. As in 'your website sucks'. Use it when you want to show ownership. Which you may not want to do if it's riddled with errors.

I will state again that I was not an English major, nor do I proclaim to know all the rules and such that apply to the language. So I may have gotten the definition of 'your' a bit wrong. However I stand by it as it will make sense to laymen such as myself!

Earthquake Clatter Nerves - 7.1 On Rector Scale!

A dilemma. Publicize the URL of this horrendous news site full of unbelievable writing and therefore giving it a boost in traffic (and hence, popularity and PR and success), or show you just one tiny example of the writing to enjoy, slack-jawed, as I did this morning.

Hmmmm.

Well, seeing as this blog has three readers on a good day, the URL shall be released. Promise not to tell the world, though. I don't want to promote their ineptness.

WARNING: I will not vouch for this site! It may be harmful to your computer. Proceed at your own risk - and possibly risk any hope you may have had for mankind for the remainder of your lifes (haha - little inside humor there).

So, for the brave - I give you: News we can do without!

Please, someone, tell me that the site isn't supposed to be real, that it's a parody, or satire, or something mocking the english language! I await your distinguished reply. Wishing you good fortune and best days ahead.

This sterling example of mistranslation was originally spotted on It's Your Damned Language! - another great grammar blog.

Your Mother's WHAT?!

Melodie's wonderful husband took her on a lovely romantic getaway for Mother's Day. She spotted this sign while they were driving around. She only had a moment to react (hence the signpost in the way), so thanks, Melodie, for your quick reflexes!

So I have to ask - depending on how your mind works - take time to thank our Mother's what, exactly? Just try and keep your mind out of the gutter on that one.

Have Your Hair's Done, Then Eat "Lunch"

Took a trip through South Carolina recently. It was a Spring Break time, so we kept to the back roads. Which turned out to be a bonus when we passed through small towns.

First I saw the Wig's sign, so I did a quick U-turn, then turned down the side road to get the picture. U-turned again to get back on track, and while waiting at the stoplight, saw the restaurant sign. BINGO!

The restaurant sign cracks me up. Capital letters sprinkled throughout. Random quotation marks. The change from Every Day to Mon-Fri (were they going under offering those deals on the weekends?)

It was all I could do to not tour the entire little town looking for more. Ah, but we were running late and I wanted to get to our destination before dark.

Maybe some day soon I'll tour some small towns nearby and see what I can find.

Now who in their right mind would do that for fun?

Two, Two, Two Blogs in One

I recently started reading a great blog about cake wrecks. Believe it or not, there are enough disasters in cake decorating to fill a whole blog and then some. Some are errors in spelling, or the decorator had trouble following directions, and others are just plain scary. But I started reading it and now I can't stop.

So when my daughter (the one who led me to cake wrecks) was home over the weekend and we headed out to the store, she said we had to check out the cake department to look for wrecks. I was hot on her heels, all excited to see what we might find.

We found a scary cake alright - I sent that in to the cake wreck blog. But even better was when I was sending a photo of the sign that went along with the cake. Suddenly errant apostrophes appeared! Double score! I swear I hadn't noticed them when I was in the store.

The cake, by the way, looked like a pile of frosting blobs in black and white, with HUGE pop-eyes. Kid friendly? More like kid nightmare. Oh, all right - here's a picture:

A Liberal Sprinkling of Apostrophes, Please

Saw this menu a while back, before this blog existed. So I just happened (cough cough) to be there the other night and also just happened to have my camera with me.

You'll have to click on the image to see a larger version with all of the apostrophes.

I'm not sure how the menu creator interpreted the rule of apostrophe use. Maybe they weren't sure, so they just threw some random apostrophes in wherever it looked good? There doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason their use.

I guess it could have been worse.

Um - no.

Now Hiring - People Who Can Spell

Subway is hiring.  Good pay.  Bonuses?  Maybe the good pay belongs to the bonuses themselves?

No phone calls please - we don't want to have to explain who the bonuses belong to.

While we're reading these ads - can we mention the overuse of the phrase, "looking for friendly, motivated, responsible team players"? Does that line come free with every want ad? It reminds me of single people who claim to like, "long walks on the beach, moonlit strolls, and cuddling on the sofa".

If the ad writers could be a little more creative, they might attract some new types of applicants.

Who can spell bonuses.