Catching Up

Life happens, you pay taxes, and then you die.

I just rediscovered the joy I used to get while posting here, so I'm back and ready to catch up. So I present a few gems that have been holed up in my computer for a while, waiting for their turn in the spotlight.

As usual, when you use the incorrect word, your meaning is lost. Although, sadly, probably not lost on most people these days, as most won't notice the error. Obviously this real estate listing has something to do with fonts:

I don't remember where this came from, and I also don't remember whether or not I tried the chilli lotto:

Most instructions seem to be written in a foreign country, so this is not an unusual mistake to see. But they are always funny. Make your way out the door, NOW! The inflatable is loosing air!

This is truly sad. Obviously this car belongs to a REALTOR. And just as obviously, this REALTOR is STUPID. There is no excuse for this.

Taken from a menu at a very nice dinner one night. I can report that the Rhubarb Pie was delicious. No barbs at all, thank goodness.

Our local pest control (a necessity in the South) sent this lovely reminder about bed bugs. Hopefully they are better at pest control than they are with spelling. Although I have to agree that hosting guests could be travailing in some ways.

That's all for now. I promise to keep my eyes open and report on more when I find them. Which isn't too hard these days. Have some examples that drive you crazy? Send them on to me and I'll gladly post them.

The Truck of The Car

On a more recent note, this is from the debacle called the Casey Anthony Trial - better known as OJ #2 Trial. The media is so bent on being the first to show this and that and to overdramatize every bit of information that they forget to check what they've written. Or they are too dumb to even notice that something's wrong.

I do remember way back when there was a car/truck vehicle that featured the front of a sedan and the back was a sort of pick-up truck. Truly ugly. Maybe that's what Casey was driving. If so, I stand corrected and there is nothing to see here. Move along.

(The DirecTV note is so that I can call them each and every time I have an issue - their phone number is on the note - which is often. And I will continue to harass them with calls until they agree to replace my bad DVR. So there.)

Missississippissip - Aw Forget It.

Wondering if the headline was actually written by someone from Mississippi. That would be SO perfect!

This Keeps Up and They'll Soon Be Endangered

This is hard to see, but a classic moose/mousse typo. From a very nice restaurant menu. Wonder if Natasha and Boris are behind this?

News Channels Run By Spelling (Oxy)Morons?

I haven't been able to figure out exactly what they're trying to say here. Either it's gotten extremely windy across the midwest, or air travel just got a little dicier.

Either way it's spelled wrong. Again, this is from a national 24 hour news channel. Do they not even care anymore?

And this is why South Carolina has been stereotyped:

This is from a local news channel. Perhaps their budget issues have caused them to cut back on education?

I'm From Calio - You Know - As In Caliofornia

Haha! This is from a morning news show. We can take comfort in the fact that the hand is actually pointing out the error. ("Stupid interns! I would like everyone to know that I had NOTHING to do with this!")

Oh, OK, it's Good Morning America. Get your sh** together GMA!

If You Can Spell This, THEN You Are Smarter THAN Him!

Saw this today on the Book of Face:

Free Flipping E-Course. Than Merrill breaks down 27 proven strategies he currently uses for flipping homes in today's market!

Nothing I look forward to more THAN taking a course from someone who doesn't speak the language. I'm guessing that he didn't spend more THAN a few seconds writing his ad, thinking that it doesn't matter whether or not it's correct, as he probably stands to make millions off of the suckers intelligent people who sign up to learn all of his most secret tricks to become millionaires themselves. THEN he'll be the one laughing all the way to the bank.

On My Way To The Aquaitc Center

Do they have spell checkers on sign-making machines? No? Well, they might want to think about adding that feature. This spelling (the word is supposed to be aquatic - just in case you're having trouble figuring it out) was on several new city signs installed a while back to help visitors find their way around town. Except I don't think anyone will be looking for an Aquaitc Center. They could end up even more confused than when they started out. Maybe this could be turned into a positive thing - "Visit us - we have an Aquaitc Center - do you? Hah - didn't think so!"

How do you get it so wrong?

On each and every sign?

With nobody noticing?

Until they are all installed?

Who's in charge here, anyway?!

R U Goin 2 The Banc?

Spotted on the website for Bank of America. This is the problem with letting young texting fools run a website. In their world, if a word can be shortened, it is. And that (to them, at least), is the only way to spell. "What do you mean 'bank' has a 'k' at the end? It's not spelled 'banck'!"

Your Does Not Equal You're!

There is plenty missing from so many websites these days. Proper grammar, correct spelling, etc. Oh sure, you have cutting edge eye catching killer graphics, and a (possibly) very coveted domain name. But if you hire someone with poor language skills (skillz?) to manage your website, it will usually show. And not in a good way.

You're = you are. The apostrophe stands for the missing letter (a, for those of you learning this for the first time and reading this with a puzzled expression).

Your = the possessive form of you. As in 'your website sucks'. Use it when you want to show ownership. Which you may not want to do if it's riddled with errors.

I will state again that I was not an English major, nor do I proclaim to know all the rules and such that apply to the language. So I may have gotten the definition of 'your' a bit wrong. However I stand by it as it will make sense to laymen such as myself!

I'll Have The Torttia With Chedder Chesse

This bit of a menu mess (from a small cafe in Oklahoma) proves that just because you can't spell doesn't mean that you can't cook. The food was incredibly good - certainly not fancy or earth shattering, but just plain good. And reasonably priced.

But the menu - oy vey what a mess! Fortunately, despite the mess, we were still able to choose our favorites and enjoy a wonderful family lunch.

How many errors can you find? No, really - I want to know because there are too many for me to keep track of.

If anyone can figure out what 613.990R11.75 is supposed to be, let me know. Either the beignets (which, by the way, is spelled correctly - go figure!) are a tad overpriced, or they've included the bar code for those who like to think in black and white.

Earthquake Clatter Nerves - 7.1 On Rector Scale!

A dilemma. Publicize the URL of this horrendous news site full of unbelievable writing and therefore giving it a boost in traffic (and hence, popularity and PR and success), or show you just one tiny example of the writing to enjoy, slack-jawed, as I did this morning.

Hmmmm.

Well, seeing as this blog has three readers on a good day, the URL shall be released. Promise not to tell the world, though. I don't want to promote their ineptness.

WARNING: I will not vouch for this site! It may be harmful to your computer. Proceed at your own risk - and possibly risk any hope you may have had for mankind for the remainder of your lifes (haha - little inside humor there).

So, for the brave - I give you: News we can do without!

Please, someone, tell me that the site isn't supposed to be real, that it's a parody, or satire, or something mocking the english language! I await your distinguished reply. Wishing you good fortune and best days ahead.

This sterling example of mistranslation was originally spotted on It's Your Damned Language! - another great grammar blog.

Nostalgic Carckers

This one is near and dear to my heart because it evokes special memories of vacations past (passed? - not sure on that one). We used to go on our vacation with friends, and before we'd leave, my friend and I would create a grocery list. Each year, we'd go over the list and adjust accordingly, as kids tastes changed and our own fondness for "Mom Chocolate" grew. So one year, we're going over the list, and discover that it had carckers as an item to purchase. (Need I explain that the planning sessions were usually accompanied by some wine and several fits of laughter.) Laughing over the small mistake, we left it as carckers and it stayed that way for years to come, evoking giggles each time we planned for the upcoming vacation.

Guess you had to be there. Anyway, we had fun with it, right Karen?

Thanks to Chris - who seems to be inundated with typos/errors wherever she roams!

Blinded By Anger

Maybe the saying, "Blinded by anger" has something to it. It seems like so many signs posted by irate people have spelling errors or bad grammar. So if you are ever inclined to vent your anger on a sign for all the world to see - do yourself a favor and have someone - anyone - check it over first. Otherwise you end up looking like the stupid one. And we wouldn't want that.

After Awarding The Million, Hire A Proofreader

Kristilyn was watching Millionaire the other day and caught this one. This is a show based on knowledge and brains. And they can't check their own work before airing it?

Again With The Numbers...

This just spotted on Google News:

Thousands flock for 2d day to Kennedy wake
Boston Globe - Brian R. Ballou, Andrew Ryan - ‎28 minutes ago‎
Thousands more people flocked again today to the Kennedy Library, with many coming before dawn to wait in a line two hours long to pay their respects to Senator Edward M. Kennedy.

PROOF PROOF PROOF YOUR COPY!!!!

It's not all about being first. Correct would be so much better.

Tornadeos Are A Comin'

Another good one from Chris! I don't know which station this is, but really - does it matter?

Narrow Near Miss

Just saw this on CBS.com:

Building Rolls Over

Mon Aug 03 07:02:55 PDT 2009

Caught On Tape: A building in Cankiri, Turkey fell over and rolled onto its roof, nearly missing surrounding buildings.

Nearly missing surrounding buildings? You mean it didn't miss them and crashed into them? Hmm. Let's go to the videotape.

[watching video]

Nope. It clearly missed the surrounding buildings (which is very strange, I have to admit). What CBS meant to say was that it narrowly missed surrounding buildings.

But hey - who's going to notice?

You might catch the video here:

Building Doesn't Nearly Miss Surrounding Buildings

Won The Award - And Then Left (Or Lost His Job)

I was very sorry to read that poor Rudy apparently lost his job after receiving the award.
This is from a company newsletter. I guess we can't expect them to be as dedicated and perfect as a professional newspaper - oh wait - the newspapers are no longer dedicated and professional. It should be easy to improve upon what I've seen published by the (ahem) professionals.

I can't credit the submission for this one. The submitter fears recrimination and job loss. With this economy - I'm not taking any chances.

Spell check is indicating that each occurence of the word professional is incorrectly spelled, as well as the word recrimination. So now I have to rag on the spell check??!

I'll Get My Funding Elsewhere, Thank You

This appeared on a piece of junk mail that we received the other day.

Note that it is from a company that wants to help you fund your child's education.

Apparently they were not able to fund their own education.

The city is actually Charlotte, NC.